Book VI - page 22

Jade worries me, it seems that the collar is the only thing keeping the shadows at bay from her, i hear them whisper that she belongs to them, she was made of them.
But she was never meant to have a life of her own.. By the neather i wish Shanra was not in the shadow realms all the time, i need his advice on this.

I care for her well she is a part of me but it is larger than that i feel as though she is my daughter i cant explain it.

I have changed the collar a little it should hold out better now but i fear that she has become a conduit as even the collar cant seem to hold the shadows from her eyes and her emotions.

She has my inner hunger, i prayed she would not be burdened by that but i can only hope that this human does not break her that was what after all made me fall... almost a dacede since yet it still pain me even now.

I can speak his name without the hurt and the anger overwhelming me and it is only because of Diigar, he stills my raging desires he knows how to handle me.

Should i tell her human.. how to handle her?
Would he even understand, the life i have lived beside the embrace, beside Yebern, Shanra and Ashana beside the Reaper.

The constant fear back then when i was weak...
To come to walk beside them never as allies well except for Shanra.

I miss Ziz but she is gone i cannot feel her. I dare not go find out why not... i could not bare if she was lost at least she is not in trouble that i would be able to feel.
I still feel her lips against mine the night Shanra marked me...

Well i will let Jade return and either have a look at this human for wich she feels so strongly from the shadows or i will me him face to face.

I like training Diigar it gives me purpose makes me feel like i can give something back. He is doing great and really exceeding my expectations. And the moments after our training, the passion and desire.
The shadows seem to only highten me in evry way, he said i almost looked like a goddess there. The runes shine so clear when i walk on that plane, a huge part of me feels at home there but my wild side the druid in me cringes from the darkness.

What is my Destiny i wonder...