It is nice to be alone again... The cool air out here seems to make everything clearer... I need to get the ring back and then i need it destroyed once and for all... And after that I need to find my own path away from all of this... all of them...
I have been here for almost a week now and not one sound. Well i guess actions speak louder than words and I myself have pulled away again... Just like my years on the ship but instead of studying how to find him again which I finally did. Now i a training with myself... Studying myself... And for the first time in a long long time he does not cloud my judgement or else i would have gone to him by now...
To feel him back in this realm, to sense how close he is again... It nearly woke her and i feel her stirring like she is just about to wake from a dream.. or nightmare?
I just cant help to wonder why he is back.. Why now?
If only but no i am alone with this and no one can know cause non of them understand...
I have been so foolish, so lost... But what made the change? Was it their pulling back.. I knew it would become to much at some point... I am not worthy or their love no matter what anyone says...
I destroy everything i touch, just like i have with them...
But when this is all done they will have peace and maybe so will i... I just pray that he doesn't try to find me or contact me because i know if i sense him it is because he lets me.
And i may be strong now out here in the cold... but i am alone... and he is back
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