Book VII - Page 11

Last night didnt really go to well... I mean who am I kidding, no matter where I go he will always be able to find me, control me if he so wishes... I need the ring back somehow.
But I cant help wondering what would have happened if Rem had gotten the ring? He does not know its full power and also the cost. Can I trust him? I know he says he is more an undead hunter than demons but then why is he a demon hunter by blood? It does seem he enjoys his fel powers. Not that I can in any way blame him. I mean my shadows it is much the same and I do miss them so... He wants me to meet him in the Burning Steppes the place where Shanra marked me. I will go to the alter tonight, there are a lot of memories there...

I am still unsure how to act around him and it was so hard to not move against him, sway him... The fel though not as alluring as the shadows still stirs my hunger or is it hers?

I need to tread carefully I am letting my guards down to fast... We have only know each other for a few days but he just feels so kindred like we have know each other for a lifetime...

It is good that she is sleeping so deep because this means I can be on my best behavior and not my usual quite impulsive self. The thoughts racing through my head as I left him... Well I can understand why Amirol would seek to get back at me... Why do I always do this? Why do I always fall right back in?

The suggestion Rem made about how to destroy the ring, I am not sure he fully grasps how it was created, but should I tell him? I mean it would have him knowing everything there is about it. I need to find out if I can trust him... but how?

I am actually quite intrigued by this leader of theirs not as I am by Rem but because he sounds so much like Shanra.

I miss him, his guidance and his unyielding faith in me, had it not been for some of our training I would say he was more like father figure than any... My Dark father... Better not let him hear or see me calling him that, not sure how he would react.

But there are so many I miss... So many lost over time friends and enemies, lovers and family...

I feel so alone at times... Maybe I should ask Zizey for the ritual to be done soon? I mean to be connected again through the ring but will she bring the sisterhood back or what is her plan with this? Are we starting again? I am not sure I can gather nor train new Furies but maybe... Well the Feral Heart could be taught and if I found a right hand to train well it would not be so far fetched?

Hmm so many things to begin thinking about again... Maybe it is time I go to the ship and get my old journals and my books. Could I do it without her finding out or is this the time to face her? I am not sure... I... Maybe I will just fly by on my way to the Burning Steppes to know my options and being up there.. Should I spend the night in Shadow Fang? Hmmm or go to Kara? Well lets see where the night takes me...