Book V - page 37

Spend the last to days at the house with ami just relaxing in each others company...

Lyss came by to talk with me all a sudden Shanra came by as well both to talk about what to do with Ziz beeing gone.

Lyss held a meeting for the oath and suddenly

I felt ziz. She was trapped in netherstorm.

I gathered Shanra, Ami, Selasius, Lyss, Lokkie and Neesha to rescue her from her prison.

We had a long fight with the demon that held her captive but when we finally got her free, we took her too my house where Ami stayed with her…

Shanra was not pleaced when he left because of Zizs attitude towards him.

Book V - page 36

I was just wandering around Stormwind today when all of a sudden i heart someone speak his name...
It was a human femal, one of the stormwind guards; Shanura her name was.

He left me... for HER! His little former apprentice
*her writing is hard and seems written with anger*

Stupid stupid girl... how did you not see... he never cared for you...

I meet with Lorich... it is nice to have one to just let it all out to... He is so good to me... Thou he does not realise how deep the darkness in me runs...

Well i went to find my dear sister but then Sivri came... she took her... and there was nothing i could do...

I meet with Sselascius and he agrees to help in getting ziz back... it is clear he has feelings for him.

I asked Shanra for help with both getting Ziz back and to get my ring from Yeb, he accepted.

Book V - page 35 - not finished

Was contacted by cy, when to the base, talked with shanra and jill cy
left
Went with shanra to sfk “made out slightly” talked about treason
Followed him to the base where me meet with jill
She wantet to leave him
Shanra leaved the guild and confides in qill where he goes and askes her
to rejunite the sirens and train new
Meets with jill tells amy about shan leaving
Stays and whatches over jill the
entire night

Book V - page 34 - not finished

I ran into lorich a few night back and this evening we meet again… I
have missed him…
I remember our night togather before all of this… before ziz, before
Erinyea awoke, before yeb, before the shadows…
We talked and played for a long time… its like all of the darkness had
never occurred when I am with him, he is always so playful and good to me…
But alas my mind is still somewhere
else… thoug he is never commung back I know that now… he is back but has never
be farther away than now…

Book V - page 33 - not finished

Goes to the guild house
Meets larnya and rocura lar has just been whipped by cy
Amy comes and so does amarisa
When jill comes they go away to talk
Become very close
Almost together
Wants to hear about sirens and if she likes it then to become one
Sleeps together under the night sky

Book V - page 32 - not finished

Goes to the guild house
Meets larnya and rocura lar has just been whipped by cy
Amy comes and so does amarisa
When jill comes they go away to talk
Become very close
Almost together
Wants to hear about sirens and if she likes it then to become one
Sleeps together under the night sky

Book V - page 31 - not finished

Sees cy talking with an elf telling him she it the mother of his child
Cy fights the assasin that also attacked broack
Feels yeb and reache out for him, someone “else” reaches back… she is
allowed to see him but another day… he will contact her…
Engulfs herself in shadow as she
looses utter control and erinyea takes over…

Book V - page 30 - not finished

Meets with shanra to train
He is cool and satys away from her
She drinks from a goblet and he keeps his helmit on
She breaks down crying and runs off

Book V - page 29 - not finished

Shanra called qill to the tower was with jill and silkun
Wants silkun to become a siren but she doesent want to and disrespeckts
qill
Talks about clothes with Mariae shanra gives her the order to infiltrate
argen bettalion
Qill offers her help with this
Goes to sfk to train with shanra jill comes along
Feeds together with jill
Starts to learn shadow conjuration,
erinyea helps her
After shanra leaves qill talks with
jill

Book V - page 28 - not finished

Talked with garo At the pig
Amadea called me to the tower to heal marieae
Talked with talilas slave
Talked with garo outside
Helped cy to capture silkun
Talked with garo

Book V - page 27 - not finished

Followed the lure of shanra to fenris island and afterwards to
shadowfang keep to train
This was a group session and qill mostly wantet to leave
But afterwards shanra asked her to stay behind, she feed on shanra and
almost gave in to him
But she resisted and shanra turned from her wanting them back to their
original agreement.
She went to the tower and there talked to sher and afterwards garodaf
At night she ran into amadea who had been turned to a dreaina

Book V - page 26 - not finished

I meet with Armarias today and she gave me four names on some potentila guild members for me to train. She clearly dosent like that i hold such a possition besides Shanra and that i answer only to him.
Sheressze asked me to meet with her today, she told me about the shadows and asked me to become one of her seekers of shadows and i accepted...
I had a meeting with Broack at the Pig but Shanra summoned me just is i had gotten combftable. There was a problem about the code of conduct in the guild. Afterwards i accompanies SHanra as he was to greet a new slave, a worgen Panda he called her, seems he has her daughter and used her to make Panda do his bidding.
Jill came... i like her and i know she wants me just as much as she hungers for Shanra and the shadows.
Shanra asked me to escort Yellanos in the city as he was doing buisness and he wanted a beauty by his side he could trust.
It didnt take long for me to get bored so i axcused myself and left telling Shanra to meet me at the keep when he was finished with Yells buisness.
I hungered for the training, for the blood, the power and i know he enjoys this to have this small measure of longing from me.

But it is only a means to an end...

Book V - page 25 - not finished

Shanra called for me today asking me to help him hunt down someone, i did not care who or why i just longed for a hunt.
He pleaded me to join his guild by his side giving me the position i desired and on all my terms so ill play along for now, it gives me more insite and information anyways.
Wonder how Cy will take me beeing there as i know his mate is there as well...

No peace i am still hunted i need to get away from it all i need the shadows to help me... make a bargain... and i need that shard, i want it destroyed knowing the pain it will cause her even in the afterlife... This is all her fault, she told me all about them even from after he was with me... She taunted me with it and for that i will make her pay... Zizey may have been the one to kill her not taking pleasure in it as i would have had but i will be the one to crush her soul...

Book V - page 24 - not finished

The ball was something from my old life, before the darkness before the shadows at it was in Darnassus a place i have not set foot since the barrier broke inside.
Cy was there with his mate but i see his longing gazes i know what he longs for... but he will never get what he wants talking about loyalty but when i play he dances to my whistle.

The training was tough today Shanra really pushed my limits... well i did he tried to stop me... but i am to impatient... and i ended up passing out.

When i woke i was in Shanras arms, he had carried my to the lakeside... He knows me a little to well. I could not help myself i find it amusing to tease him and deny him what he could just take but never will force. I bathed in the cold lake before him feeling his hungry eyes on my body.
I am the one thing he knows he will never have but he will try to the last... more than once i have pushed him to the limits of his control with my teasing ending up with him leaving in frusttion.
It is too easy to hold the sway of men with power when you do not give them what they want.

Book V - page 23 - not finished

Dawn calls a meeting about the loss of ziz stone
lyss wants to talk with qill and ami
afterwards alone with ami

Book V - page 22 - not finished

Erinyea was still in control
Bores so they go to find ziz
Ziz making plans with shanra and cy
Stand out
Cy and shara walks out on her
Ziz uses siren blood magic
Gets qill and ami back
Ziz dies and ami is in a coma
Lyss comes
Takes them to westfall garrison
Aleina comes
Ami wakes
Mixes blood and gets the stone from aleina
Cant open the stone
Two people come to help and goes to find a priest
Brings sivri in disguse
Qill will not move
Sivri gets the stone open and ziz soul back in her body
Sivri pushes all away and takes the stone and dissaperes into the shadowrealm
Ziz returns to life
Qill takes her and ami to the cath where she was bought a small room shielded from magical intrusion
Though the shadows in them hurt she keeps them there to be safe

Book V - page 21 - not finished

Meet with vakil
Ami declares love
Turns away from her
Erinyea takes over
Together with vakil

Book V - page 20 - not finished

I awkoe in the cave... as my self...
Vakil’soth was there just meditating...
We talked about the whole acceptance of both personalities... Like Erinyea and myself.

He let me talk with Ami and i tried... really... i did... to have him accept what lies inside of him.

Vakil’soth became impatient and takes over again.
I went to Stormwind
Tager ind til sw
Erinyea og Vakil’soth snakker
Mødes kort med cy i lunden
Finder cy og ziz ude i redridge men efterfølges af vakil
Ziz og cy forsvinder derfra og derefter vakil
I sw møder hun Diigar som antaster hende og beder om at snakke privat med hende og han vil have hende med i en gruppe af betroede, hun siger ja og får en armlænke på som symbol på at hun er en ad de betroede.

Book V - page 19

I have so much to do... I need to help Ami...
Adrias can help we discussed it for a while before we meet up in Decolace. I think he has fallen to much for me...
I meet with a potential new siren and we talked for a while thou i am not sure she truelly understands our ways. I will need to speak more with her before i can decide wether or not she is a siren at hart.

I got Lokkie to teleport us to Quel'Danas in search of Desdal, but he was gone... I tracked him back to Stormwind outside in the grove... We talked and he attacked me by marking me with some kind of magic. We fought for a while thou he was not as strong as i would have thought so i got the drop on him.
I brought him to the cave for Vakil'Soth

I watched them fight, well it was more Erinyea that held me in place but also the knowledge that i needed to get Ami freed. Then something happened, Desdal was almost broken when he becan to talk to us as someone called Pain, what is it with all of us and these dark sides that seem to threathen lives.

I was forced into a shadow cocoon to protect myself but the screams from Amis mouth made me let go and let Erinyea take over.

When she joined the fight it flipped the tides and Pain started beeing the one to get hurt, thou the mark he placed on my skin must have been some kind of link as i felt the numbing pain from each strike that hit him.
But he did not know Erinyea and how pain is nothing to a Maiden of pain as she, so she fought to get a grip on him before ripping out his trouth.

She was intrigued by Vakil'Soth as they hold the same views on many things, she talked seducingly to him and he seemed to respond to her power and presence.

Suddenly Pain raises again helped by the shadows he wields... And Erinyea gets hurt badly as she is cought off guard but the shadows show her the link is still active between them and she uses her power to shead it from her body... this results in Pains demise as Vakil'Soth kills him leaving the body burning on the ground.

Erinyea would not give back control when the fight had ended knowing that we shared every memorie she udes her seductive powers over Vakil'Soth and they speand the horrid night together, with only my screams og pain trapped deepinside my mind...

When she fell asleep i regained controll waking up as myself in the dark cave...

Book V - page 18

I meet Cy by the harbour told him about my deal with shanra.
He litterally exploded with rage because he thinks i am just another of Shanras "sex toys" he does not trust in my stregth and resolve.
I went after him, but the alligations and his unwilllingness to listen to my side of it all made me so angry that i finally too off... needed to hunt... too kill... release my anger...

I want to Northshire as i had heard rumors that the people had problems with the orcs that had invaded... I killed a lot before Cy came and stopped me.
He attacked me, biting deem into my neck tryin to dominate me and show that he was alfa but then amirol showed up and Cy ran of furiously.

Ami took me away to the mountains where he healed my wound.

Later i went back to the city where i ran into Cy at the cathedral. I was calm again and so he seemed to be. We went to the harbour and talked about it all. He was confused if he should stay or go, he told me i had a power over him a feral attraction that he had a hard time resisting.

I could not let him go even thou i knew the potentiel danger of him attacking me again but i just did not want to loose him, we are kindred spirits in so many ways, he understands my feral nature and my temper because of it.
That i do not always have time to think things through but sometimes just act and that it leaves me in bad situations. Yeb *names scratched out* One always looked down on me for that trait, calling me immatur and a child.

Cy and i went outside the city to a small grove where i like to stay, we talked for hours by a large tree, i was in my feline form with my head resting on his leg as he stroked my mane.
Peacefull...

Derathorn was holding a trining session that evening but i told Cy i was not sure i would attend because of my fight with Ziz, but then she contacted me and asked me to come join. Cy encurrages me to go, saying that he needed to cool a little off again feeling his blood rise along with his lust for me, so i took off leaving him behind.

I dont knwo why she called me cause she was stubborn like always...
The Cy came to the training grounds and he was in a rather playfull mood, stealing Grims sandwich and teasing Alerie... witch i think he has been mated with before Talila.

There situation tensed as Grim did not find anything amusing, but Ziz and I fended it off and Cy left.

I went over to talk to amirol who was also there and as the night grew darker and most of the others left they keep talking sharing a bottle of wine.

Then Sivri came and she seemed to have taken control over Alerie. They attacked and i fought Alerie, she was so strong and powerfull but i stood my ground.

Ami went for Sivri, bad move he is not strong enough against her.
Halward and Cedrinn was in the middle of it all running around like chickens trying to help.

AMi actually got a lucky strike on Sivri so Alerie flew off with her. But something had happened to Ami during their fight, like with Alerie, he was changed, darker but he did not turn against us so i could not be sure.

I got the others away to safety and stood watching Ami as Adrias contacted him, telling that Sivri had been seen leaving an elf behind on the ground.
Shortly after Alerie returned and Ami almost attacked her but i got him to leave, not sure how...
I talked with ALerie thou it was hard keeping my own temper. But i needed to find out what had happened. She did not remember anything, Sivri had taken over her mind somehow.

Alerie went home to Lokkie and i sat behind in the darkness of the night until something touched my mind. It was Ami and it wasent, seems Sivri awoke a darkness inside of him. I went to seek him out, wanting to get Ami back... safe...
He was in a cave in the mountains behind Elwynn.

I meet whist this darkness in Amis body. It calles it self Vakil'Soth and has been created by Ami and Ziz mother, as somekind of dark poison.

He nails me to the ground with vines, he wants me to find someone called Desdel the one that killed they mother. He resides with the bloodelves at the lord Ziz was to marrie.

I agree to keep Ami safe or Vakil would destroy them both but i want in return to know the feeling Ami holds for me... i need to know... And i was right... he does care for me...

We seal the deal and i leave to find out more about this Desdel...
Hold on Amirol i will do what is nessecary to keep you safe.

Book V - page 17

I meet with ziz and a potential new siren today, i dont realoy seem to have my hart in the game anymore as i couldnt care less.

I wnet to ami, thou he is sweet and loving he is also so dull and boring at times. I get restless beeing round him for too long.

Ziz found us and came to talk but then Shanra summoned me and she got mad, that i was at his beg and call as she called it, thou i know she is only hurt because i spend so much time with him. If only she could get over her damm pride the two of them could be great together... But her temper and ways of saying the wrong things when she gets angry...

I went to train with my master at our usual spot in shadow fang keep, there is something about that place that i like dispite the darkness...

I should stop taking short cuts, i feel that i am getting to addicted... but the blood i cannot discribe what is does to me, how it makes me feel and how much it strengthens my power and control over the shadows.
After training Shanra bad me stay by his side as he greeted a new member of his. So i was at his side and afterwards we talked about how i had seen and felt the new commer.

Why does he want my oppenion?
Why does he let me walk by his side, letting me see all of his dealings?

Book V - page 16

*some pages seems to be ripped out*

Meet cy and the three girls at the small island duskwood
Ziz came and then it all startet to fall apart first
Fiffie had a worgen come ”threathen” her
Then ziz was calming roc but the images and the story of rape set ziz off and made her leave, it also triggered Erinyea making me turn.
But i got cy to leave to go after ziz who was killing men in sw and after he left í could calm down and regain control.
I went to find ziz and when i found her she was fighting with cy and i stepped in to calm ziz down
Crink showed up and while i was calming ziz, Cy attacked crink
Ziz went to his rescure and when i went to help cy hit me and i was nocked unconsious and got deep large cuts
Ziz keept her focus on cy until he left
Crink took care of me bandaging my wounds and then went to find a doctor
ziz gave me a potion to stabelize and stop the bleedings and went to find cy
Crink came with a doctor and i was healed
Effie came sent by cy to look after me but crink wouldn’t let anyone except the doctor who healed me near near.
Cy came too

I sent effie away and crink too though he was a bit harder to make leave as he would protect me from cy
Cy told he was sorry and that he withstod ziz, still i has a hard time believing that he can withstand ziz.
Shanra called them to a meeting so he left
I meet up with shanra acceptet the deal on the new terms but he had a condition, that i was not to train in revealing clothes or flirt with him because he did not want to be near forbidden fruit as he put it. Then i was marked...
As we partet we agreed to meet once a day to train in shadowfang keep and i would try to get information on the erleuchtet order for him.

Book V - page 10

Today Cy called out to me wanting me to come to his aid.
When i arrieved I saw ziz and him; Ziz naked and her powers a blaze.
Cy pleeded me to help him get away from Ziz so he would not betray his mate.
I keept my distance but felt Ziz powers still.
I got Cy distractet enough to pull free of Ziz but that almost made him jump me instead.
It seems he is not as strong as i first thought. I know Ziz powers are hard to withstand but to break like that when he has his mate.
One could never truely trust him because his feral side is so strong in him it overpowers his reason.
After i helped Ziz calm down. It seems she has become lost in her own emotions, not beeing able to control them, more like they control her.

I wonder what has happened to her to have become a victim of her own emotions.

Cy came back when he had cooled of but Ziz had to leave because she was not totally in control yet. Before she left she told me that it was not her that had been then one breaking down, but Cy kissed her first.

This makes me again wonder how much i can truely trust him because he did not tell me the whole story it seems.

We both go our seperat ways Cy wanting to cool off and regain a little of his control... Me i had work to do.

As i returned to Stormwind i find three of the Stormwind guards walking the streets and i follow them around a little but Cy showed up trailing my sent and almost made a big mess of it all.
It is cute though how he likes beeing around me and his feral side does compell me so... It has been a long time since i have been close to another with the same feral heart as my own. Though in my time of learning to control my demonic blood it seems i have mastered my feral side as well.

Cy asked me out for a drink at the pig but our conversation turns towards Ziz and my own true nature, a story that is not fitting there. So we fly outside the city walls to the small grove by the water. I tell him about what is hidden in my blood all the while Cy's feral side is still cratching at the surface of his control wanting him to let lose... be free...
I feel the same longing and only my hard training in control keeps his allure from overwhelming me.
He left me before doing anything stupid. I pity his mate unless she understands the nature of his feral side and the strength with witch it controls him.

After Cy left me i decided to seek out Shanra and when i found him i told him i could not accept the price... We made a new deal and i acceptet his new price. I will never belong to any other man nor will my body be a tool for them to play with.

Shanra was not pleased that i had told Ziz so i did not mention that Cy knew it too and for that he left me hanging saying he would contact me later if he also would agree to the new terms and needing to find out if i was truswothy.

Book V - page 9

Cyrion sought me out this evening. Seems he wants me to train three elven girls in the ways of the Sirens; Fiffe, Silkun and Rocura.

I meet with fif and silk. It was quite interesting to see how they bowed before Cy and called him master.
I asked Ziz to assist me because it is vital to have both our stenghts and especially her experience if they are to become true Sirens.
Ziz acceptet to help me train them and I took them to the island to telle them the code of the Sirens.
I sent them away afterwards and next Ziz and i need to prepare them for their right of passage, the marking of the siren.

Afterwards i went to the Recluse, and i almost barged in on Shanra in his form as Yellanos and his people... Semms they were talking about the Sirens and Cy lead him belive he had everything under control with us... If i ever find out he is trying to play us, teaching him a lesson will be a great pleasure...
When the dispanded i followed Yellanos and a beautiful elven femal. I showed myself meaning to speak with Yellanos. He introduced the elf as Shereeze but desmisses her when i mentiones the deal.
We agree to meet in Duskwood where he is in his own body.
The price for him teaching me, the ways of shadows is me... I almost give in but i remember why i am doing this in the frst place.
I askes him to give me a little time to think and he accepts.

I find Ziz and Cy training the young ones. Ziz is using Cy as a target dummy for them to practice on....
Strage she never really trained me, she just took me with her? i Wonder why she has never trained me?
When i find them i break down crying because of how close i can to beratying both Yebern and Ziz by taking Shanras offer.

Cy askes to speak alone wiyh me. He takes her home to the house at the watarfall where they spend the night together.

Book V - page 8

It hhas been a while since i have written but i have been laying low as i so often need to do... Not the first time and diffenatly not the last...

I meet with Cyrion today at the Blue Recluse
He wantet to know if i knew anything about the last regiment and how good i was at gathering intel.
We talked for a while before we found out we were beeing watched so we left Stormwind and went to my house in the hills.
I went for a swim and as allways i took off all my clothes.
Seems Cy is a bit shy because he keeped his trousers on.
While we were bathing two females came by an elf and a draenai.
Seems they knew Cy.
I asked them to join us but took off.

We went back to Stormwind as the sun set and we stod on the other towers and looked out over the water.
I became all melancolic and was thinking of Yebern.
Cy listen and talked me in a better mood.
When i was leaving i wantet to give him a kiss for all his time and pations but then his mate came; Talila and she got the situation all wrong.
She has a bit of a temper but as both Cy and myself she is a feral druid so that is to be expectet.

As I went away Cy appoligiesed though he did not need to. I do not care for his mate, she is not my problem.

As dusk fell over the streets i meet Yellanos, Shanras more presentable body. He offered me a drink at the Pig and we talked about Kallar and my problems with getting the journal. It ended in me asking him to teach me how to move my soul between bodies like him and we agreed to meet the following evening to discuss the price.

I wounder what it will end up costing me cause i know Shanra is no cheap bargainer…

Book V - page 7

The scorched oath community had put together a market just on the outskirtes of Thelsamar in Lock Modan. It was a very succesful event with everything you heard could possibly desire.
I was in charge of security and when Derathon could not attend Cyrion and Lyssea helped me out. Cyrion was a natural when i cam to holding an eye on people an to know when trouble was about to start.
I think i am the better scout because i do not see the little signs when trouble is about to break out.
I was sitting on the top of one of the houses keeping watch of the place when i felt Adrias presence. I tryed to reach out for him but he was not there... Semmes i was imagining things...

Do i miss him that bad already?

Ashana, Kallar and Rederick from the Embrace was also there. As Always Lady Death was just watching... she seems to have a grudge against Nomine the leader of the starlighters.
I talked to Ziz about Kallar and she went to try and talk to him, but he was just a closed if not more when she tryed to get through to him.

When the market was over and people startet going to the inn or home Rederick teleportet Nomine away. I wonder what it is Ashana wants with him?

As i was looking at Lady Death i saw Adrias... He was there... He had not gone away... Not dissapered...
I was affraid he would attack Ashana but suddenly he just went away without almost a word...

Why is he stille hear but told me he would go away...
Why did he not talk to me...
Is he still my Adrias...

Book V - page 6

When i went to storwind today i recieved a package from the postal service.
It was from Adrias. It was the most beautifull dress and there was a letter as well. In the letter he told me that though he was fare away his heart was with me.
I miss him when he is gone but i feel that there is something he is not telling me, i hope he comes back soon...

I went to the pig and wistle to see if Kallar might be there though i am not sure how to approch him again last time was a dissaster.
A dwarf startet talking to me and we talked for a while. He was a funny one a musician and a poet and he seems to be a little to fond of me. I also saw Cyrion and Talila at the pig they seemed rather close wonder how she is...

Adrias called me. Wantet me to come to him and as i was longing to see him i flew to Tanaris to meet him. I found him in Uldum where he was studying some mecanical thing.
Adrias showed me the place and he talked about beeing tired of the war... of fighting... wanting to leave it all and live a normal life.
I could not join him... I could not leave Ziz behind... and thoug a big part of me longes for the same thing as he does. To live a normal life with Adrias would be like a dream but still i am not normal and i still need to find out what has happened to Yeb...

So i need that journal... need to get close to Kallar...

Adrias was dissapointet that i would not come away with him so he left...
Left me on my own just like all the rest... Nowbody stays... They all dissapear...

Book V - page 5

It was an interesting day.
Lost of different thing happening all in one big turmoil.

I meet briefly with Lokkei and we talked a little but unfortienetly I was called away.
A little later when i was returning to Stormwind i ran into Ziz who was angrier than a nest full of hornets. Seems that Cyrion has been playing her or so she thinks, let’s see when her anger fades a little and we can talk reasonable with him, like Adrias she can be quick to judge.

Dawn held a meeting for the community and she informed everyone that Derathon, Lyssea and I had been appointet taskmasters of the community. They all seemed pleased so now let’s see where this will take me.

I went after Ziz after the meeting and we talked at our tranquil little hideout in the mountains behind Northshire. We were taking a swim to cool down when all of a sudden this human male paladin i think from the looks of his armour showed up. We also ran into and old aquantainc though i do not remember her name.

When Ziz left i went to look for Shanra but i found the embrace insted, holding a small gathering in Duskwood where Ziz and I use to meet with Shanra.
One of them cought my attention Kallar if my memorie seves me right from my time with Yebern before he dissapeared.
Maybe he knows what has happened to him?
I need to get closer to him if possible and find out... but they are all such an arrogant bunch thinking themselves masters of the universe, so it will be difficult i fear.

I went back to Stormwind to the Pig & Wistle afterwords to relax a bit and again i ran into that woman whos name i can’t remember... Seems she has lost both her memory and her ability to speak. Cyrion can and he suggested the priests in the cathedral so we went there with her.
Cyrion and i went down to the pond besides the cemetary were we talked a little about Ziz and what had happened. Typically of Ziz and men she always mistrust and judges to fast for it seems that Cyrion did not tell on her but still he will not help us as long as she has anything to do with Shanra and i fear we need him more than Cyrion but i am not sure.

Afterwards i went back to the Pig & Wistle and i found Kallar there, have seen him lurking around Stormwind and if my eyes do not decive me he hold Yebern journal, i remember it well from when we were on the boat together for he lead me read some of his books but adviced me to stay away from that one.
If he has Yebern journal i am sure he knows what has happened to him.
I decided to go and talk to him to see what he was like...
Like Yebern he has an ego that should not be possible for a human but and that all others are inferior to him but like Yebern i also sence great power in him and he also intruiges me...
What is it with these dark human male mages that facinates me so i wonder?

I have not seen Adrias today wich worries me... I hope he is allright and that he has not gotten himself in trouble...

And i miss him...

Book V - page 4

I met with Adrias last night at a lone island. He called me there to tell me his feelings. To tell me that he could be evrything to me and that he will wait for me... wait for me to forget Yebern and accept that he is gone, so i can move on... with him.

He would give me everything i once wished for; kindness... admiration... protection... love...
A part of me longs for that all that Yebern will not give me, can not give me.
One to worship the ground i walk upon as i do his.

It was nice to stand in his embrace, to relax and feel normal again... But i am not normal and i never will be...

If it is really true what all say and yebern is gone forever then maybe someday i will move on and maybe Adrias will hold true to his word and wait. But will i ever truely move on?

After i meet with Adrias a ran into an old... friend... Shanra
We talked about all the things with Ashana, the powers of the shadows and how it corrupts, consumes...
He has agreed to help with our training in secret so as to keep us safe but i dont know if i can trust him, the oath does not apply to him anymore.

But now i will rest...
See what tomorrow brings...

Book V - page 3

This day all collapsed... My control... my feelings... my memories
Everything just came crashing down on me.

Adrias had gone to Sivri so i had to follow and i got Ziz to back me up but it was to earlier for me to try and fight.
She found my weakness, the hole in my memories that i was protecting.
I lost myself the rage took over... She took over…
But now i remember... I rememeber HIM, i remember our time together.

I got Adrias out safe but Ziz i fear that most of all wantet to abandon me for my falier.
I called for her when i regained control again and was back in my house...
She scowlded me for letting my feelings take over like that and she is right i MUST regain control over myself.
Ziz came up with a plan so now we went to find Lady Death and we found her... or should i say she found us.
It was a close call and our lives were on the edge of i knife for a while but Ziz peaked her interest and tomorrow we start our training...
I must grow stronger, strong enough to find him...

After our little ordeal with Lady Death Ziz and I meet up with Cyrion and Adrias. Adrias has been corruptet by shadow as Ziz once was and now we need to have him purged as she.
We have decided to keep Adrias safe at the boats after this has happened for as long as he is weak i will protect him with my life.
He is very dear to me i feel that and were it not for Yebern, Adrias would be a man i would be proud to call mine. He is sweet and kind to me, want to protect me from harm, he is all the things that Yebern thinks he has lost and can not give me... A part of me loves Adrias for all his actions towards me but Yebern holds my heart... my soul...

I no longer feel him. Our connection is gone. What has happened to him. Where is he...?
I will search the universe if i have to. Tear a whole in the world...
I must find out, find him...

My love... my life...

Book V - page 2

It has been a troublesome time since my return. It seems that i have a hard time controlling my emotions especially rage...
I have been at my house in the hills, the waterfall there sooths my anger and it helps to be alone, to be away from everyone.
I have not seen Zizey much since my return but an old friend found me one evening as i was trying to retrace some of my steppes and visit old sites.
Adrias - i remember him... my feelings for him... that i hurt him...
He seems to have let the past lie so it seems i am given a second chance at our friendship...

When my rage is on a low burn i walk around Stomwind. I see many familiar faces but it also seems that many have forgotten me in my absence.
But how can i blame them it is war... the world is in chaos... and shadow wants all in its embrace

Oh to fall into the darkness that is me, just to give in and let that side of me take over.
I feel like a part of me is missing but when i try to remember there is only that darkness covering it.

Book V - page 1

How long have I been lost?
What has happened to the world... my family... my friends?

If Amirol had not found me, i fear that i would have been lost in the emerald dream forever...

Strange dreams... A daughter... But how... When... Where... Just a dream!

I am back in the real world but i still seams as the dream was real and this is the dream. So much i can't remember. Peoples faces, names and how i know them. Only one stands clear at the moment Zizey - my sister... a siren, like me.
More and more of my memory is returning but i have some black spots and when i try to pierce through i loose myself as if the blackness is put there to keep those memories from me and not just forgotten like the rest swept in a hazy mist.
What is in there, what is it i can not remember?
All these questions and no answers at the moment.
I fear i will become a burden, of no use now that i have no information, nothing to speak of.
I have lost control of my darker side, i need to get that control back... When i do not have control i am not safe around people.
She whispers to me, begging me to let her loose, let her out... free
But i must stay strong and remane in control or i will be lost in her dark ways.

- Qil