Book VII - Page 45

Lokie came to the camp to talk with me, Eli was suspicious about her. She had talked to Ziz and was worried to know we have not been talking for a long time.

I took Eli to Nagrand to my little floating island with the apple tree. The spot i used to run away to.
He liked it. We talked about what our futures might hold and he shared some of his dreams as well.
I was surprised and happy that his dreams were so.. simple.. much like my own..
We have both never really believed it possible.. Do i dare to believe fully now? I know i want to believe...

The Trial was at our base today.. The alliance with them seems to go well.. Also we have a new member Arathriel.. He seems very flirty but then again he did not know who i was.

A death knight wanted to join Korth'Alas, he was rather interesting to say the least but then again dead so well there are limits to how lively they are...

Book VII - Page 44

Today Eli and I spoke a lot about my past and how we both view the ones that has been in my life before him.

We also talked about marriage... I cant help becoming weak at the knees.. Someone that wants to have me me as theirs on that level and also wants to become mine fully.
It was mostly because we discussed Vidal and Kaaellus have married and apparently she is pregnant.

We talked about Lilith in regards to Eli needing to talk with her which lead us to talk about children..

Its been a lot of heavy subjects this night to be honest some scare me but with him they for the first time actually seem possible.

Then he falls back into my past and issues regarding whether or not he can trust me. He fears that when the ring is broken that i will leave him.. And i would never?
I dont understand why he cannot trust in my words.. in me.
He is everything.. But yes i have fears and doubts just as he does.. I am trying to show him that together we can take on the world as long as we have each other.

I told him to use the ring so he could know the truth about everything he wants to know and he is insecure about but he dosent want to use that against me.

I finally made him use it.. He wanted to know how i felt about everyone of my former lovers and i did one by one.

Book VII - Page 43

I ran into Renuath in Duskwood. Like always he was flirtatious but he dosent really hold the same appeal anymore. I mean yes it is always nice to be complimented... He was still talking about the places he once promised to show me..
Well it was nothing much just idle chit chat before I moved on.
It was fun however that he said i reminded him of the sun.. I do think it was meant as pretty afare but dangerous the closer you get...

A new hunter joined Toliare. Eli was talking with her, Tenta and Shan. I waited patiently at the camp for them to finish.
Eli told me he had left the court to Kaaellus.. I didnt understand why
He thinks the orb of oaths gives suffering as i am sworn to protect them as well as they are me but he forgets he is also sworn to the orb so i will do the same for him and i would even without the orb.

He was angry i warned Keal... But how could i not.. This was my fault not his..
He is angry for my disloyalty in regards to Keal but he also understands me.. just not hiding anything from him. And i understand him fully i shouldnt...

But we got it sorted and then we are like always fine when we just get it out.. But then Kaaellus and Vidal comes with a new member Anya. I just couldnt do anymore so i left for the ship.

Well then I finally captured Soren for and he was okay with it actually so I have taken him to the house where he will live from now on.

Eli came and we were at the waterfall for once just us well until we wanted to return to the ship. Kaaellus and Vidal and Haffaleas were at the camp and VIdal and Kaaellus wanted a word so he did not come back to me before hours later where I had dosed off.

Book VII - Page 42

It is hard for me to be in the court with him there.. I want to rip his eyes out.
Eli wants me to make things better with him but i just cant see how he almost ripped my heart out.

Some of the new ones seems a bid edgy as they seem to follow their own whims but that is not my place i am not a councilor.

Tenta keeps being smug around Eli but he will feel my wrath when he least expects it.. when he thinks i have forgotten.

/Q

Book VII - Page 41

A couple of new hunters joined Kaaellus and Vidal a couple it seems but Eli ignored me so i left.

Shan're called us to the haunt in regards to some shady individuals but it was nothing really. Tenta was came along as we walked to Darkshire and i joked with Shan after him having a warden in training hugging him.
I found Soren and managed to approached him to meet him at some later point.

The suddenly i find out that Eli is raging cause Tenta lied to Eli and said that Qill and Shan're has been together.
Tenta will get killed by my hand when he least expects it i swear this.. His lies and betrayl almost cost me the trust on the only one that matters to me.. A kindness i will repay upon him ten fold.
But i dont hate him.. no i pity him.. i pity him needed to stop to this.. That is such a coward that wants to see everything around him burn..
I was trying to help him with his state of mind and then this.Tenta did it for position and power but most of all the rage in him just makes him want to destroy everyone that are happy...

He is the most incompetent moron i have ever met.. I tried to explain but the only thing he could say was me having sex with someone else.

It broke him.. He stood with his back to me for so long.. I feared I would never see his face again... And i know that all he said was true and I knew that yes i had told him but never who.. His words like whiplashes. Never have I felt anything ripping at my soul like that... Never
His words burned into my soul forever:

"My heart breaks for us... I love us.. I love you.. and i will free you.. Even though my fears will come true...You will leave me for another!"

I thought my own would stop right there...
Wanting to grip him tightly and tell him how sorry I was for being weak for not being stronger than the curse... Tell him how I can never ever find anyone and if he leaves me.. there is no life for me...

I bound the ring to him.. He was against it but now he has the full control over me so many have sought...

And he left me to go deal with court buisness in the middle of it all.. I tried to stay concious but the ring and the new connection left overwhelmed me and i passed out.. I dont know how long i was laying on the stone before he woke me but my body ached so a while i would think.

That night i wont forget in.. well forever

Book VII - Page 40

They went to see Lilith. Eli did not think it was a good idea i joined them and apparently Ziz was already there.
Eli didnt tell me much but he told me it was fixed and they got the blood without hurting her.

He then had to bring Thila back to life.. I didnt pay much attention to be honest to that.

I went to Duskwood and ran into Bel and Tower in Darkshire... But more interesting was Ferow was in the grove? I wondered why he was there and followed him. Showing myself outside Duskwood. Apparently he is leaving his order but not until she is sure they can manage on their own...He is doing well the feral issues he had back when we met are under control now.
We small talked as we walked to Stormwind... And i reminded him of the offer for our orders to become allies.

The next day i met Renuath in the city.. He is still as flirty as always but we both know it will not be more than that because of our history. He still wants to show me the places we have talked about before but i am unsure.. I dont want to give him the wrong idea. But it was nice to talk with him again. Shan're turned up looking for me while we were talking. Seems they know some priestess both of them.

I ran into Rem later that day, he is back from Outlands where i know he mostly stays. It is good to know he is alright... I miss having him around.
We went to Nagrand and had a talk about why he left also of him maybe joining the court.

Book VII - Page 39

I met with Alleris or Blade today to take him to see Eli in regards to the alliance with the Crimson Covenant.
He wanted to kill himself off because of me in a relationship... Eli of course needed to show that i was his very clearly to Blade. He couldnt handle it. He felt i had betrayed him.. stabbed a knife through his back... It was never my intent but neither were we as a couple.. He just didnt understand who i am or tried to get to know me.
He was a complete lack of emotions... Why i even touched him so deeply i still dont know we only spend time together a couple of times and it always ended with us discussing. Besides he is mated now so why would he take it all like this.. why would he think that he had a change again just because we talked?
Well i left him there wanting to kill himself.. I didnt know what else to do.. I didnt listen nor did he even care what i had to say... Just more of the same... I feel sorry for his mate cause to be the second woman in his heart like this must be horrible.. Though I do have a feeling she dosent know and he is all good and sweet to her...

I talked with Keal at the camp everything seems just a bit quiet at the moment i just feel something is going to happen very soon.. I just dont know what...
I was pleased to hear Keal wants to take it slow with his new lover but I fear he cant hold to that.. But ill let him have the benefit of the doubt for now. 
Shan and Haffeleas came to the camp Haff wants to see if he can get back to life.. Shan might have an idea as to how this could be possible.
Beleth also came around.. He needs help but i just dont know how to help him to be honest. I need to let Eli handle that. Suddenly Keal went suicidal.. His new girlfriend showing up not understanding anything. But well i got him to calm down again and left him with his lover.

I do love the little ping pong i have with Shan... We are similar in so many ways...

Book VII - Page 38

So Keal has his old lover back.. it is strange I am not sure how to go around it.. I mean i am really happy for him and all but well with what has happened and Keal means a lot to me not like Eli but still...
Diel came around he wanted to push forward on the research around me.. I asked to have Shan're presence and he agreed to it just to observe at least. I feel safer knowing i will have him there at least...

I went to talk with Ferow in Astranaar. Not much of the Ferow i remembered left.. So much more like Ami now... I was sad... But i understand why he wants to be more in control and less driven by his instincts... He will talk to the rest of his council about an alliance...

I brought Blade to the base to meet with Eli in regards to the alliance... And yes he felt i had stabbed him in the back getting him to swear to me...

Also met some magus Kediir who is part of the court. An elf of the Kirin Tor i think.. He seems a bit like a stick in the mud but well a good one at least...

Book VII - Page 37

I met with Shan as i wanted to find out more about Elis runes so i could have mine changed if possible.
Shan is very interested in knowing what it is about me and i want to see him without his mask so now we will see if im gonna get what i want.

I met with Blade seeing as i have been trying to form an alliance between the Crimson Coalition and the Court. I have not told him about me and Eli but i got him to swear the oath to the orb. I know he will feel betrayed but i needed him to be a protector.

Afterwards I spoke to Beleth, his powers he knew there was something off about me and he offered himself. He told me about the powers in his blood but i could never have imagined.. Goddess the power flowing through his veins... I need to be careful with this.. I am not sure Eli would understand it was nothing in any way intimate... Keal came but he knows of my addiction so he didnt see it as more...
But i trust Keal... He is loyal to me...

Book VII - Page 36

I gave most the runes of communication at the meeting the other day.

Good thing cause Shan're came to the camp asking for help to track some demon activity down in the city.
Tenta and I were there and went with him to the catacombs of the lamb.
Seems the boy in the catacombs was a charge of Shans. I didnt really get what was going on but i know Shan protected him. He told me the story after we came back to the camp.. at lest it didnt end in fighting...
Shan and i see friendships differently.. He dosent understand why i would be there for all of the others when i get nothing in return.
But it is all i have... My friends and loved ones.. i will always fight to protect.
I learned a lot about him this night and i am glad we seemed to get a little closer. I see a kindred spirit in him. The same struggle as i have.. the same loss...
He knows that i am not what i appear and he was weary at first but he seems to trust in my words as much as he can trust in anyone...
I like him a lot.. and i feel we could be good for each other.. A friendship that could run deep... 

Book VII - Page 35

Well  seems i needed more rest than i thought and a lot has happened. Reywen has become a strong fighter and she is learning fast as well. A very good student and very unlike her brother. She is kind and gentle unless forced. Apparently Reywen ended up between Keal and Nyzina. I do hope i did not give her anything of my essence in the process? Well she was quite to choose and therefor avoiding much drama. Eli is very protective of her to a point where it seems almost to much. Yes i know here more or less raised her but she is a grown woman.

I went to find Eli this night. He was patrolling with the court out in Duskwood some rogue demon hunter warned us about a demon hiding out in Duskwood planning to destroy the world well nothing new there.

Walking back towards Darkshire Tower joins us and we stumble upon some old man walking around asking strange questions.

I must admit i do not like Brom and Mura much.. I know the Illidari have been through a lot and their way of talking and.. socializing are at a minimum but I dont take lightly to insults no matter how subtle.

The Ebon Vigil comes along after we have gathered at begger's haunt.
Eli goes to speak with their leader. With Keal talking to Nyz it is clear i am the outside and i cannot blaime them for i am not a demon hunter. Quite the contrary...

I got restless and started walking around. Araleth came to join us briefly but left again.

Nyz is worried about Reywen... They are a good couple cause Nyz clearly cares for her and protects her. I will admit the female and female together has always eluded me but what makes them happy is all that matters.

Eli left with the Vigil and Keal went to help Nyz with her glaives so i was again left alone. It is hard not being at his side. Not that we are to be together all the time but it has always been my place in such: I was always at Ziszey side always at Shanras. This is my place or have i been wrong?

I know he is not use to having me around in official affairs but if i am to become one of them.. and equal i need to be able to prove my worth.

Belteh found me at the camp. I still need to get use to him wanting to call me mum but he is sweet a little naive and unlucky but sweet.

After Beleth left I talked a bit with Elkos.. There is something so familiar about him but i just cant place it and it unnerves me.

Out of the blue a lot of the court comes out of the portal or well Araleth came before but Eli, Keal, Brom, Shan're and Nyz.

I like when he calls me Starlight.. i dont know why.. Maybe it is the public display of affection that seems to alien to him because of his normal harsh demeanor this showing there is more to him than what he lets them see... I dont maybe i am just being foolish.

Elkos was strangely curious about my former relationship and had a lot of questions towards my motives behind leaving him and such.

Beleth came back.. He is so hard to not find adorable when he is in his tiny dragon form... ALso why i took him back to the ship when he fell asleep in my arms. Yes i know Bel is a grown man but when he is in that little form who can put that aside. He slept beside me on the bed all night on a pillow. Eli didnt seem to happy about the idea of sharing his bed with his son...